The past few months have really been a blur to me. I honestly barely feel like i am gaining control of my life again, but it is almost like i can't remember how i lost control of it in the first place. Between traveling to Logandale every weekend, helping the Kirk family, going to school, working, putting Vance and Teisha's wedding together, and the Holidays, my own life somehow disappeared, my house was completely neglected and i have only taken one more belly shot in the past 10 weeks. There has been so much that has gone on and that Kaden and I have been involved in that i could write about and probably should, but right now i don't really know where to start. So, here are a few of the things that i can remember at the moment.
Lived-
- Every weekend except for a couple, Kaden and I have still traveled to the valley. In November we continued to go to see Malcolm and the boys. I am not sure how to explain to the world all of the things that we did when we were with them or when our weekends were specifically meant for them. November was a hard month for all of us who are close to the Kirk family, everyday was new a story and new update and it honestly broke our hearts to not be in their home more than we already were. Malcolm passed away November 15, in his bed, surrounded by his closest friends and family. Kaden and i were not there, but we traveled down to the valley the next morning, stayed the rest of the week until the funeral and i stayed until after Thanksgiving. Its an odd feeling to have your heart break for some one passing but to feel so much joy for them at the same time. One of the last things that Malcolm said to both Kaden and I was how excited he was for us to be having a little girl. He had a hard time speaking in the end, but to hear him express the joy he had for us was really amazing, and it really showed the love he had for his own children. That moment i really will never forget. The fast Sunday before Malcolm passed Pierce bore his testimony in sacrament. If there ever was a meeting where everyone's eyes were filled with tears of both sorrow and the spirit this was it. His testimony was short and sweet and to the point, but he spoke the most truthful words anyone could say that day. I wanted to share that, just to point out the strength that he has as an eleven year old boy who lost both of his parents in one year. Malcolm's funeral was beautiful, it was smaller than Julie's but not as many people knew about it either. The stories that were told about him were great, and the men who spoke were as well. My dad had the opportunity to be a speaker, and he felt so privileged to be able to stand at the pulpit and talk about his best friend. My dad really impressed the stake president when he told a story of Pierce saying "faggot" but it was funny and he helped to liven the mood. The weeks since Malcolm's passing we have been cleaning, and clearing out the house, having garage sales, and boxing things up. Now that all of that is finished up it feels really final and like it is time to start moving on with life.
- Vance and Teisha's wedding was on December 16. They honestly couldn't have been married on a more beautiful day. The weather was so nice in Saint George and the sky was blue and bright. Their sealing was beautiful as well. It is always so neat to hear what is said in the temple two people are married. Nancy did an amazing job of planning the day and setting up the reception too. She put so much time and effort into making it just perfect for them.
- Christmas was quite the ordeal this year. Kaden and I always tend to be running back and forth between families but for some reason this year seemed to be a little crazier than usual, that could just be because we were over whelmed by our amazing gifts and that i was 28 weeks pregnant and i don't seem to have a ton of energy lately. The day before Christmas eve Sarah and I got to go see Camille and Alex in Vegas for a few hours. I felt so bad that we didn't get to spend more time with them but it was so nice to catch up. After we left them i told Sarah that it is always so hard to say bye to Cami because we don't tend to talk much until we actually see each other but it is so nice that every time we get together we just pick right back up where we left off. Christmas eve was a lot of fun, Nancy, Teisha, and I spent the day sewing. Well Nancy sewed and Teisha and i cut. I made two pillows from a tutorial i found on pinterest, one for my mom and one for Kaden both with something printed on them and Nancy helped us both make adorable stockings. We also got to have dinner with Kaden's family and spend time with them and then go over to the Hymas home for a huge dinner, it was nice to spend the Holidays with them and the Kirks since we have grown so close to them this past year. Christmas day consisted of presents at Penn and Nancy's then Presents at my parents, then Kyle and Jessica's, then back to Penn and Nancy's for Luke to call, then back to my parents, then to Grandma and Grandpa Leavitt's then back to my parents, and then home. The only thing we regret not doing on Christmas was that we didn't get to go to church. This year really was hard to feel the spirit of Christ in Christmas without it. Especially since we both got so spoiled. Kaden told me a couple of days before Christmas that all of my presents came from Walmart, i was pretty nervous about what in the world he could have got me from Walmart that i would have wanted. Turns out, there are all kinds of things at Walmart that i wanted ha. I got a cricuit, fishing pole, juicy perfume, a shoe rack, scrap booking stuff to make a San Francisco scrap book (which is funny because i made Kaden one for Christmas) and all kinds of other stuff. Then from Penn and Nancy and my parents, i also got clothes, a juicy jump suit, a little camera, a curling iron, a year supply of shampoo and conditioner (i seriously did ask for that) and some essential oils. Kaden got a ton of clothes, shoes, and hats from me because he seriously has ruined a lot of his this past year and hadn't bought anymore, as well as tools. From our parents he got a really nice grill, a snap on impact something, and a wrench set. He was in love and very happy with his gifts as well. I wish i would have taken a picture of car on the ride home. It was completely packed and filled up like a puzzle.
-I have not mentioned our new dog yet, i was actually debating on whether i should or not because i am afraid she is still a trial pet. Everyday we fall more and more in love with her, but at the same time there have been a few days i have gotten so angry with her i almost dropped her off at the pound myself. I know we are crazy for getting a new dog, but she was Malcolm's and she needed a loving home and i have always loved her, i am convinced she has always loved me too because she never leaves my side. Her name is Zoey and she is Korgie, Healer mix. We seriously have a thing for getting the oddest mixed dogs ever. She looks like she is an over grown weaner dog with long hair and rabbit ears and when we are home she honestly is perfect. She doesn't bark, she doesn't fight with Tiffany, she doesn't get on the bed and she goes to the back door when she has to go out. Until this week she was great when we weren't home too, but that all changed when i left the house on Monday and she jumped up on my counter knocked everything over and shattered my Christmas plates. I being pregnant and all locked her outside sat on my kitchen floor and cried for about an hour before i even cleaned anything up. Then Tuesday i decided she was going to be locked and zip tied into her kennel when i left. I came home, she had broken out, and pooped all over my living room. Wednesday i locked her out back. This seemed to be perfect, she didn't jump over the fence even though she can and nothing was ruined in my house. So, Thursday i did the same thing. Well i came home to my house flooded and the verdict is till out on whether or not she can turn on hoses, because our hose pipe broke in our wall, and flooded our kitchen. Kaden seems to think it was just an unfortunate week. So, we will see how next week goes.
Learned & Loved-
Again, i am not sure where to start with all of the things we have both loved and learned this past little while, or even this past year. With everything that has happened and with the so many changes we have gone through we continually feel blessed for all that we have. I think the main thing we will take away from this past year would be that we have learned to love more. Through both Julie and Malcolms deaths we grew closer to each other and our families, we realized that we take for granted every moment we share with one another, and through all the service and time we have given this year we have never felt more love and appreciation ourselves for all that we have in our lives. We make it a goal every day to grow closer to each other and now that we only have a 11 short weeks until our little girl arrives we will have the same goal with her. We have learned that things are only things that important parts of our lives come from memories and our knowledge. Of course, we both still like things, but it has made the past few weeks easier for us to simplify and declutter our home and put into perspective what is really important. We have loved every memory that we made together and with our family and friends this past year. We have loved growing stronger in the church, strengthening our testimonies, and watching our families grow as well. So many wonderful things have came from such a hard year, but now that it is over we both feel that next year will bring us even more joy, allow us to grow and lean even more, and most of all, love and appreciate everything that we are blessed with doing and experiencing even more as well.
