Motherly Advice {Pregnancy Perspective}

It has been quite a while since my last "Motherly advice" post i figured its time for another one.

In the beginning of this pregnancy all i could think of was how badly i jinxed myself in sooo many ways. Every time i heard of someone getting pregnant for the 4th time in 3 years or the 2nd time before their baby was 1 i would roll my eyes and think "what in the world is that woman doing, doesnt she ever want to have a life, or they should really have been more careful." Then guess what?! Bam when i swore off another child until Leighton was 3 so I could have a life someone else decided to give me some perspective. So even though i was running, i was nursing, we were "careful", i didnt have a cycle and it took 2 years and lots of clomid to get Leighton, I was pregnant. With all of the odds against us it happened. Every thought i had about other women ran through my mind but apparently nothing besides being abstinent was going to stop us from having a baby. So from then on my judging has mostly stopped.

Now i have had to learn what being pregnant for a second time is like. It really isn't any easier than the first. Don't get me wrong i do not have hard pregnancies. I have an average amount of morning sickness and i feel tired pretty often but something happens when i am pregnant and i feel like i have way more self control. I tend to eat way better and exercise harder and more often. Mentally i try to stay sharp and spiritually i try to grow stronger in my beliefs. If you have ever been pregnant though you know being pregnant is not fun. Some girls can not wait to have a baby bump or the pregnant glow but me i worry constantly over how healthy the baby is or how much weight i have gained and some pains that my body goes through growing this little human make me want to just curl up in bed all day and hide.

Instead of focusing on all of the negative though i tend to look at how positive of an experience this is. I include Leighton in all of my pregnancy activities like running in the mornings. She loves it, if we miss a day she will go to the door at least 10 times and ask to go or climb in her stroller and tell me she is ready. I tell her about the baby in my belly not that she gets it at all but she sure does love my belly and somehow i think she knows its special and not just because it looks like hers. When i rock Leighton at night she snuggles close to my stomach and can feel the baby kick, they already love each other.

Sweet things like that do make this second pregnancy nicer than the first. I was so involved in Leighton's pregnancy and learning everything there was to know and now i am involved in preparing Leighton for the new baby and myself for her as well. Knowing more of what to expect takes some of the edge off and really seeing once again what i am capable of is nice too. Pregnancy really does tend to put life into perspective for me. With Leighton it was the not getting pregnant part that made everything seem like such a miracle. I really learned not to take anything for granted and that things happen when they are supposed to. With little girl number two, again things do not happen on our time it is all up to the Lord. What an eye opener that there are more things in store for Kaden and I than to be selfish and save money and travel and have an easy couple years of doing whatever we wanted to do. Having a baby is so much more special than that so i don't know what we were thinking anyways.

So my advice out of all of this. Try to learn from everything that comes your way. I have posted about pregnancy and timing before but besides that life throws a lot at us and we are expected to do so much. When things are easy love it and when they aren't grow from from it. If i can run 4 miles pushing a stroller while 27 weeks pregnant i know i can basically do anything. Find something in your life that tells you that, because it is true.

                                                   

Grandma Karen

Grandma Karen passed away suddenly last Thursday, July 25. Karen was Kaden's Grandma and one of Leighton's three Great Grandmas. I always thought Leighton was such a lucky little girl to be able to grow up knowing three Great Grandmas. I can only remember one of mine and very vaguely. I think i remember her more just because we talk about her and i have seen so many pictures of her. It was very surprising to have Karen pass away. Although she was 76 she was very energetic and still loved to be very independent. Besides being independent she took care of everyone around her. She literally was the care taker for her sister Diane who needed full time supervision and needless to say is not very easy to be around but Karen loved and cared for her anyways. She had lots of grandchildren who all adored her and tons of great grandchildren. I remember when i first met Karen i couldn't believe how much she did. She was a snow bird and spent her winters in beaver dam and most of the year in Cedar. She golfed all of the time and still drove her trailer to family reunions. 

Last year when Kaden worked full time and i was in one of my last full time semesters at school Karen watched Leighton for us. At first i was a little skeptical only because i knew Leighton was a handful and i didnt want her to have to worry about Leighton screaming or anything. Some days were not as easy as others but Karen absolutely loved spending time with Leighton and was so funny with her. I would get there to pick her up and she would have her in her lap with a pile of interesting things to play with. Leighton really did love her and Kaden and I both love that they had that time together. The more i think about Karen being gone and what that really means the sadder i feel. I know she is at peace and that she is with her husband and that she is watching over everyone in her family and that we will see her again one day but my heart breaks just a little that she wont get to meet our new baby and that Leighton won't really remember her except for when we tell her how much her great grandma loved her. All three of us will miss her so much but we are so unbelievably grateful for the gospel and the peace it brings into our lives knowing where Karen is and that we will meet again. 

After her passing we found a journal entry that she had wrote just a few days before and it was such a sweet earthly reminder of why we are here and that there is a bigger plan for all of us. Karen wrote a simple and sweet testimony of her faith and that she knew she would be with her husband again. I don't think there is anything more special that can be left behind than a reminder to your family of what you believed in. We are so grateful for the simple birthday cards she never failed to give us, that she attended the temple with us on several occasions, including when we were married and that she so willingly watched Leighton and was so proud of her. We will think of her often and always keep her in our hearts, until we meet again.