Timing

If you follow the blog then you know so much change has happened in my life and i have been feeling the load of it lately. I am feeling better, talking about it has been great and feed back has been putting things into perspective. Although my personal trials are small right now i realize, time alone can not heal all things but know that the Lord can. I have learned this lesson so many times and yet it still surprises me over and over again. Kaden and I have witnessed our fare share of trials in our short 5 years together. We have helped others who have gone through truly tragic events and have always thought of our selves as blessed. 

You may already know this, but it has been on my mind a lot lately. Before i became pregnant with Leighton i had a very hard time getting pregnant. I was really young when I went off birth control and assumed if we are meant to have a baby we better not do anything to prevent it. Secretly i wished every month that i was pregnant. I don't even want to know how much money i spent on those dang tests. My 19 year old self could not have ever known the beauty that the Lord had planned for me years down the road. I like to thank a very long time on Clomid and lots of healthy eating and exercise for my fertility finally kicking in but really i know it is much more than that. There was a point that i felt like giving up, after having a miscarriage, i felt like i had lost my chance and that being a mother would come much later on in life, maybe when we could afford more expensive fertility treatments or adoption. 

I felt like that was the hardest thing i had ever gone through, and probably still is. It was such a spiritual awakening to me. I carried a child that wasn't ready to come to earth, or maybe didn't need to. I felt angels surrounding me and The Lord's presence in my life so strongly. If i was supposed to have a baby it would happen on the Lord's time. 

Clearly i have children now. I have two beautiful miracle babies. A few months after my miscarriage I became pregnant with Leighton, I even was in a car accident during that time and was told i had lost her, I didn't. The Lord blessed us with her when she was supposed to come. Her life brought happiness into our lives and into others who needed it. During the time that i was pregnant with her Kaden and I were being prepared to be parents, we grew closer in a way we never could have if our first child was born. I was and still am constantly reminded of the Lord's timing and that everything comes down to following his will. 

The Meaning of Easter

This past week I have been trying to get Leighton into the Easter spirit. We had so much fun with egg hunts, an Easter party, and dyeing eggs. If any holiday would be her favorite, it would be Easter. Ever since this girl was little she has had an obsession with eggs. Getting to play with them and find them has been a dream come true. We might just end up doing egg activities for the rest of the year. P.S. I totally made that adorable gold egg shirt she has on. I am serious when i say we were in the hippity hoppity easter bunnyrific spirit.

I was so excited for all the holiday eggcitement that i didn't spend much time talking to her about the real meaning of Easter at all. Okay to be honest i didn't spend anytime talking about it. Sarah challenged me in her last letter to do the #becauseofhim on instagram, which i did and I loved my small moments i took each day to reflect on all that i have been blessed with because of the savior.

Last night i laid in bed and thought about what i wanted to post about Easter. What it really meant to me, what spending all this time with the girls means, and why we celebrate this blessed holiday. I really lost sight of what is important, not that dying ombre eggs and dipping strawberries to look like carrots isn't...but the resurrection of Jesus Christ just is so much more. This holiday is really about our savior and that he died for us and lived again. I am somewhat amazed at how there are two huge holidays devoted to a man that not everyone believes in but almost everyone seems to celebrate. How wonderful is the message that seems to be hiding along with all those eggs? 

If you have not seen this movie yet, provided by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, then please watch it. I could not describe in a better way what is real and possible because of this man and his actions that we celebrate on this Easter Sunday.

Auntie May May is Serving a Mission

My sister Sarah is off to the MTC today. We chose to stay home while the rest of my family drops her off. I am not sure i would be able to let her out of the car if i were there and I know Leighton definitely would not make it easy for her to leave. Sarah and I have not always been close, but since graduating high school i tried very hard to form a relationship with all of my sisters, especially Sarah. She is now my best friend and really so much more than that. Sarah lived with us for a couple of years while she was in school and got to be here to see Leighton born and every exciting moment of her first year of life. 

Leighton says, Mommy, Daddy and May May like it is completely normal. Every child has a May May right? The person they can go straight to when mom and dad don't give them what they want? 

As excited as i am for my sister i cant help but feel sad that she is leaving. I almost feel a little upset, like how in the world is she okay with leaving me? I know it is totally selfish, but really who am i going to text 100 + times a day to give them a completely useless run down of my day... so leighton just peed her pants, Emerysn just rolled over, look at this ridiculously horrible grammar on someones insta? No one else wants to read my pathetic texts. I am sure she actually didn't care to either. But she did and i got to hear about cross fit, and her cleaning the house for the thousandth time. 

Columbia, South Carolina is gaining the most amazing Sister ever. I know Sarah will do well there. She already loves the south and is so prepared to share her testimony. People are drawn to her and she is easy to talk to and it doesn't hurt that she is one of the most beautiful women you can ever meet. The spirit is so strong when she speaks of the gospel and this is why i know i can let her leave for the next 18 months. The Lord needs her more than i do. There are people out there that need to church in their lives and thanks to two missionaries, I have already been blessed with it in mine. 

As much as i just want to complain about my sister leaving me, i hope she knows how proud i am of her. I don't think i would be the person i am today with out her example to follow. She has always been happy and kind hearted. Somehow she can only see the good in people and i have admired it so. I hope she knows that everyone at home will be praying for her, that she is supported and loved and that even if every day isn't easy, it is worth it. I know that serving a mission will not only bless the lives of others but hers as well. As she loses herself in the Lords work she will learn things that will help her for eternity. I want her to know that i support her because i too know that the church is true. That Joseph Smith was a true prophet and was called of God to restore the gospel to the earth. I know that through righteous living and being sealed in the temple my family can be together forever. To me there can be no greater joy than that which comes from living the standards of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. 

*If you'd like to follow Sarah's mission click here.